I read Just a Girl in Port’s post below and it started to get my wheels a turnin’. So here is my response to her post. Thanks so much for sharing your feelings here and being so “Transparent”
Here is what I wrote:
OH My GOODNESS! I feel like you just described me in detail! Everything down to the T! My eyes are actually tearing up over this. Not in a bad way but in a happy way because I don’t feel alone in my thoughts and feelings.
I love the stay at home life but I miss the power and “in control” feeling of my past professional career. I was single during that time too and when I tried the whole career thing again with two small children it just wasn’t the same for me as it was when I was single. Maybe when they are older it will be different.
I have had the whole June Cleaver fantasies too! HA HA! I LOVE to entertain but it seems these days everyone is too busy with their own lives to be graced with my entertaining abilities. LOL!
Some days, I too just sit down for a good cry and wonder why did I marry into the military. I told my husband I didn’t want the military life for my own and didn’t want to raise a family like this but I know deep down that no matter how much I want to pass the blame on him for marrying me and giving me this life. I signed the marriage papers, said the vows and well, sometimes true love makes the choices for you and “calls the shots”. I know I love him more than anything and love seems to have that affect on most of us.
I also know deep down in my heart that I am so PROUD of what he does and I have come to the realization that I can either embrace this life that has come to be my own or fight it, The second choice just brings depression, despair and discontentment. Embracing what we have and appreciating the life we have and call our own is much easier to come to “terms” with.
I still have my days when I feel as though I could curse the day he chose to re-enlisted for yet another six year and how I cannot stand being away from family etc etc etc.
However, convinced of the reality that this IS my life delusional by love or not. I still chose it just as much as he did. What we share is very real and there are so many numerous & wonderful things that we can discover when we take our eyes off of ourselves and our self loathing and actually realize that as a Military Family we have so much more opportunity in this life than most people will ever see or do in a lifetime.
We are always going to have “Those Days” but life never promises to be roses, peaches and cream. If we look at each day as a new opportunity to be a blessing to someone else, an encouragement or a help. We will then begin to see the positive benefits our “Military life” affords us. It is certainly something we can find much joy in and truly find peace and contentment with despite the “quirks”!
Thanks for being so real and so “Transparent”! It really has been an inspiration to me in so many ways and this spouse can completely RELATE to you! HUGS!