I have been so overdue with this post, but lots of terrific things have been happening. My amazing husband came home for Christmas and, that, as you know is always magical. The kids too were so thrilled to have daddy home to celebrate with us. We felt very blessed!  Even though Christmas was spent away from our loved ones and dear friends back East, we celebrated this season with many of our Coast Guard family members who filled our home with love and warmth.

Through early December I had been so extremely busy, and my husband consequently was once he came home. He had just returned home from deployment and still gave 110% to help me make these deliveries happen.

Happily, my husband and I both became Operation Homefront volunteers last year. As a result of that, I also got my nonprofit organization involved in helping them with the Toy Platoon Campaign and that kept us both really busy. My house and home office practically turned into the North Pole!

For the past three years, Operation Homefront has joined forces with Dollar Tree stores around the country to accept donations from local communities for holiday toys for military kids. I jumped right on board once I found out about it and involved my organization, Coast Guard Family Organization, Inc., in the mix collecting stockings and connecting with our area’s units to distribute the stockings. Because of this, I signed up to be the regional toy distributor with Operation Homefront and my darling husband tagged right along with me.

I was blown away by the amount of toys collected. At one point, I was counting each individual toy, but that just became insane as there were thousands. Sure, some might think that donating a dollar toy is not much, but it really says a lot. In this economy, when folks are hanging on to each and every dollar, it is inspiring when they opt to give it away for the sake of a military child. Toy donations were distributed to mostly children coming from junior military families. Because of that, I was in awe when many of the folks reaching out to me and my organization to support the effort where junior military families themselves. They just thought it was right to give back. That is the incredible thing about our Nation’s military families. As many of you know, so often they/we are the ones giving so much of our time, talents and donations because it is natural to us.

U.S. Coast Guard photo by Petty Officer Shawn Eggert

The Coast Guard did a PR write up on the effort and the local newspaper also published it. All of a sudden, people started calling me and coming out of the woodwork to help. The Coast Guard Exchange donated helicopter toys, and I even had one remarkably generous lady call me up to donate cash, clothing and toys for a military family. She thought I would know best where to share her donations. I can tell you the family that did receive her donations were over the moon and so moved by her generosity. Likewise, each and every military unit my husband and I delivered toys to was more than appreciative. The Coast Guard is often left out of things and it was nice to let them know that they too are not forgotten. Can you believe, we delivered enough toys for at least 400 military families?

I will say though, that one delivery in particular more than warmed heart, and I will never forget it.

It was a Friday afternoon and I connected with a Captain at the local National Guard base. We made arrangements for the delivery of toys and my three cute little elves and I loaded ourselves up in the van amidst seven large boxes filled to the brim with stocking stuffers. We were a wee bit crowded, but managed to drive safely to the base feeling much like Santa’s sleigh.

Upon our arrival, we were greeted by about six camo-clad soldiers. They were super sweet to my kids, and they amazed us all with their swift work. It never ceases to astound me how our military super heroes get the job done in a split second with efficient expedience. Before I knew it all of the boxes, carrying over 1,000 toys, were in the auditorium. The Captain thanked me for the donations and to express appreciation to all those involved. The Captain asked a bit about my organization and took my business card. All the soldiers nodded in appreciation and said thanks in unison. It was a great feeling. They sacrifice so much and they deserved these gifts for their children and so much more.

Then, one soldier leaned forwarded with his hand extended. I reached out and he held my hand tightly for quite a spell. He had a glimmer of a tear in his eye and said to me, “Thank you. This means so much.” I almost lost it right there in the auditorium. I mustered something that I still cannot even remember. I managed to maintain my composure and bid them all a Merry Christmas before I left the building.

I scrambled into my van and the tears started flowing.

At that moment, I felt like I was I in a Lifetime movie.

My oldest daughter asked me, “Mommy, what’s wrong.” I smiled and explained that I was happy and that we just did an amazing thing. I glowed the whole way back home and knew that each effort to support our military, no matter how big or small it might be, is appreciated. I had already known that; but that day, my commitment to helping military members, spouses and families was reaffirmed in a big way.

This past Christmas was the most joyous season yet for me. It was filled with moments of true happiness because it truly is better to give than receive.

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My husband has been home from his third deployment for six months now. In the past this usually would mean that we were getting ready for our next deployment. He was home for 365 days between deployment one and two. And was home for 15 months between deployment two and three. However, his unit deployed earlier than that so I felt like we were already in the “getting ready for deployment mode” by this point as well. This time, the next deployment seems pretty far away. At least from my point of view. The unit is not in serious training mode, we aren’t having FRG meetings about what to expect, we aren’t being asked to work out the details that you need to work out before someone deploys. He has been home for six whole months and we are not in “pre-deployment” mode. And that is amazing to me.

It is a weird feeling, but I like it. I like that the next deployment is far enough away that we can enjoy this time together. I like that I am not forced to think about the next deployment so soon. I am glad that when I look at my little boys I don’t think that they will be having to say goodbye to Daddy so soon.

I also catch myself. It is different when they are home and you aren’t planning for a deployment. They go to work, they come home and for a short period of time life is almost like it was before he joined. There will be schools and trainings ahead. There will be nights apart. But in the near future I do not have to ready myself for a long deployment. I do worry that this time together will go by very quickly. That before we know it I will be going to FRG meetings about how to prepare for a deployment, that he will be packing his deployment bags again and that we will all have to get ready to say goodbye. For now I am going to enjoy this time together. I am going to cherish it because it feels amazing that we get to feel more like a normal family for a little bit longer than we have in the past.

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I posted about our plans to stay home during the holidays and start new traditions. We did just that and we really enjoyed our Christmas together! Needless to say there were many moments where we all missed the big family gathering that was taking place back home, but cousins with new cell phones helped my kids feel closer. There was lots of tween texting going on around here! Our “home” phone is a cell phone that the kids can use, so they loved being able to communicate to their cousins all day Christmas day and the following week as everyone was still together. It helped them feel a little closer to the fun that was happening back home. My husband had a 4 day weekend for Christmas, so we promised each other that our only outings the whole weekend were going to be to the Wawa that is around the corner. If you don’t know what Wawa is, then I’m sorry! They are my new favorite gas station. Not that we get much gas there, but the coffee bar is delightful as is the amazing deli area.

Oh and don’t get me started on their Pretzels!!

We enjoyed 4 days of home cooking as well as Wawa coffee, soft pretzels, donuts, and subs.

We didn’t just eat those 4 days, we played board games (Ticket to Ride among the games), and watched movies!

The kids loved playing on the playground with the other neighborhood kids who were around for Christmas. Since there weren’t a ton of kids around, my kids formed some neat friendships with the other kids who were around that weekend. Now that we’re a few weeks removed from Christmas I can say we did just fine! There were moments where my husband was my hero and reminded me that we would be just fine even though everyone was together somewhere else, and for that I’ll be forever grateful! We made one more milestone as a military family, our first holiday season away from home!

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The New Year’s Holiday has come and gone. Have your resolutions gone already too? Or, did you set any at all?

I am a big believer in setting achievable goals, and then breaking them down into manageable tasks. (I learned a lot about goal setting from Money Saving Mom.) By achievable, I don’t mean you should keep your goals small. Instead, I mean the goal should be concrete. It should be clear whether or not you’ve achieved it successfully. Instead of stating a general idea like, “I will work out this year,” say something more concrete and measurable like, “I will do a fat-burning workout for at least 30 minutes, three times a week.” That you can measure. That you can actually achieve.

Setting goals can be a daunting task though. I think we should all set goals to keep us progressing forward, always bettering ourselves, especially in regards to health and happiness. But where do you start?

Think first about what you want in life. What weighs you down? What worries you? What do you dream about? Spend some quiet time thinking along those lines, and just jotting down notes as you go. What, you have no quiet time? Well there you go – goal #1! Carve out 30 minutes of quiet time every week!

Once you’ve got some rough ideas, review them, and pick a few that resonate most with you. I like to have at least one big challenge, and a few easier to manage goals. Pick your top contenders, the ones that will have the most impact on your life, and then rewrite them in the way described above – a way that is specific and measurable.

You can work with your notes, or you can pretty things up with goal worksheets. I used this Free Master Goal List Printable to list my goals in each area I’m working on this year – health/happiness, financial, volunteer work, doggy parenting, etc. I like to have things look organized and appealing. It’s more motivating to me. A Google search will produce lots of goal worksheets, so you can find one you really like.

Once you have your goals listed out, it’s time to break them down into tasks or steps. Again, these should be clear and precise. They should be easy to check off at completion, because they are definitely done. I use another Free Goal Worksheet Printable for this step.

Using the fat burning workout example above, you could break that down into a few steps. It might look something like this:

In 2012, I will do a fat burning workout for at least 30 minutes, 3 times a week.

1. Join Gym. (Or get tour of gym and learn how to use the machines.)
2. Buy a pedometer.
3. Map out 2 mile walking routes in safe areas using an online map program.
4. Write the workouts into the calendar, and set up reminder alerts on phone.
5. Walk the 2 mile routes, working up to a 4 mph per hour pace, to be able to finish 2 miles in 30 minutes.
6. Start and maintain an online exercise journal to track progress.
7. Check in at the end of each month to tally workouts, and plan for the coming month’s workouts.

Now comes the fun part – the reward! Decide your end date for your goal, and a reward if you’ve met it. For this example, I would set the first end date for March 31st, knowing I intend to go all year, but giving myself a shorter measuring period to keep it from feeling overwhelming. If this was my personal goal, I would reward myself with new workout clothes for Spring, to keep me motivated towards the end goal of keeping up the workouts all year.

Since I track goals in multiple areas, I like to fill out one master sheet per area, and one worksheet per goal listed on the master sheet. I keep them all in a binder, for easy reference, accountability, and motivation. And then I blog about it! One of the biggest keys to success is sharing your goals. Once you speak them out loud, or write them to share, you breath life into them. You make them real, and because others know about them, you want to achieve them even more. If you tell the right people – supportive, positive people – they will help you achieve them. And with some goals, especially where health is concerned, you can really use all the help you can get.

Want to know about my personal health and happiness goals for 2012? I’ll share them with you, and make it more likely that I’ll achieve them:

1. Bring my A1C below 6. (I’m Diabetic, and this test measures my average blood sugar levels over a 3 month period.)
2. Complete three half marathons. (There are a lot of small tasks to achieve for this one! And some not so small tasks, too.)
3. Take at least 1 class per week from another yoga teacher, in the studio. (Lately, I’ve been teaching more than I’ve been learning.)
4. Meditate for at least five minutes a day, every day. No matter what.
5. Take swimming lessons from the hubster once a month (when he’s home). (I’m trying to learn to swim laps for exercise, and spend more time with him as well.)

My diabetic goal and my running goal are a little bit overwhelming. But by making them measurable, and by identifying several different tasks within each goal to break them down, they become much more feasible. I know I can do it!

If you’d like to read more about my personal goals, you can check out my post on my Volunteer Goals, or my post on my Financial Goals. Money Saving Mom has a wealth of posts about goal setting, and she also shares her goal progress every month, which always reminds me to check in with my own goals. In any area of life, a little bit of time spent on the web leads you to a wealth of resources and support. Look for motivation, not excuses. No matter what your goals, you are not alone in them. Identify them, write them down, say them out loud, share them, and work on them! And then come tell me about your success.

Happy (healthier and happier) New Year!

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Attention DC area spouses! If you are on the job search, be sure to put this event on your calendar.

We will be attending this job fair exclusive to military spouses and hope to see you there!

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Family Matters Blog

by Elaine Sanchez
Jan. 9, 2012

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce is hosting a career fair in Washington, D.C., this week dedicated solely to helping military spouses find jobs.

The Hiring Our Heroes – Military Spouse Career Forum will feature a host of national and local employers specifically seeking qualified military and veteran spouses, as well as resume and interview coaching, and resources for starting a business. The forum is scheduled for Jan. 13 from 8:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. in the Walter E. Washington Convention Center.

Spouses of active duty and reserve members, retirees, veterans and fallen service members are welcome to attend.

Job seekers and employers can register for this free event and learn about other chamber-sponsored career fairs around the country at hoh.greatjob.net. Be sure to upload your resume when registering. For assistance with registration, email hiringourheroes@uschamber.com.

The Chamber of Commerce launched the Hiring Our Heroes program last year. This yearlong, nationwide effort is aimed at helping veterans and spouses find employment, with a goal of conducting 100 hiring fairs across the country.

The chamber also is involved with the Wounded Warrior Transition Assistance Program, Student Veterans Internship and Employment Program and a Women Veterans and Military Spouses Employment Program.

This “aggressive agenda,” officials noted on the chamber’s website, “focuses on one measure of success: jobs for the 1 million unemployed veterans in America.”

Additional resource:
Family Matters Blog

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Happy New Year friends, from Italia!

This was my first New Years in Italy and I was so excited to continue our holiday vacation once again in Venice. My husband and I had researched the festivities that went on throughout the night, the fireworks to scare away evil spirits, the old clothes and furniture that was dropped out of windows to make room for new things, and of course the romantic group kiss at midnight in San Marco Square. However instead of finding ourselves bundled up under the city of love’s moonlight, we were on the couch, individually wrapped in our Snuggies, watching Lost and popping Sudafed. That’s right – we were sick on New Years. We did get to see a few fireworks that went off throughout our town and I have to say – I did wear red undies which apparently brings good luck. We may have also had a glass or two of champagne (after we felt the Sudafed wearing off, of course). All in all our New Years was nothing compared to our anniversary in Verona or our Christmas in Venice… but that hasn’t stopped me from making a list of resolutions!

I know there are resolution haters out there, saying they always make them and always break them… but to them I say this: Why do you keep lying to yourself? Okay, actually, Oprah said that. When I was little or maybe a teenager. She was on one of her weight crusades and talking about how she was seeing a therapist who sounded like a quack but then she said that one liner and it has stuck with me since. Truly… why are you lying to yourself? I, for one, am not a good liar in the first place. I giggle or turn red or awkwardly stutter, even in the case of needing to keep a gift or surprise secret. I wish it wasn’t the case because I love being in on a good prank – but really, don’t trust me, I’ll blow your cover. So if I can’t lie at even the simplest things – why would I lie about the big stuff – like changing my life? And why, of all people, would I lie to myself? So this year, every year, every moment – if I say I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it.

On my personal blog I made a list of 10 resolutions I’d like to keep not only in 2012 but in life. The main one I wanted to talk about on My Military Life was #1 – Organize my finances. When I turned 18 I got a credit card. Everything – in life – went downhill from there. I wouldn’t know it until four years later though, after I had graduated college and landed myself in over $3,000 worth of credit card debt alone. Now, $3k may not seem like much at all but when you’ve never been taught what “interest” was and yours happens to be 23% … $3,000 turns into paying Old Navy for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. I not only had this bill nagging at me but also school loans and, ya know, had to eat. I went to my mom for help and of course she led the way… straight to the bank where we met up with her friend who helped me take out a loan. “Take this. Pay your credit cards. Cut them in half. Pay this off over the course of 3 years. Raise your credit score. Learn from your mistake. Never speak of this again.” I’m almost quoting to the word. This meeting changed my life. From then on, no matter if I was making $10k a year or $30k, I had my finances budgeted. I had an excel sheet that had everything organized – every loan, every bill, every pizza delivery (old college habits die hard, people). And then… I got married.

I don’t mean for there to be such a dramatic “dun dun dunnnn” pause after that statement but hear me out. I got married to a man who had equally been on his own for the past 7 years, who had equally been acquiring debt, but not as equally worried as I had been. Granted, there are some people in this world who are absolutely fine with living in debt as long as they can pay the minimum or more every time the bill comes along. I am here to tell you: I am not one of those people. When I was in credit card debt, I felt like no dollar I earned mattered because it was all going to some pair of stupid pants I bought 6 months ago. I like my money in my bank account. I like to see numbers, not horrid, red negative signs I had seen so many years before. My husband, while no negative signs thank God, has just… a different way of handling things: he handles them, I assume he handles them, all is well with the world. Well my friends – it’s 2012 and let me say, happy NEW year.

There has been so much transition going on this past year of marriage, moving, career loss, no friends or family around, etc that thinking of organizing “our” finances felt more like telling my hard working husband what to do with his money. I also know some people can be touchy discussing moo-lah but the way I’m seeing it is that I may not be able to have a job for the next 3 years being stationed overseas but I don’t think that means I should be blind to our financial situation, whatever that may be. Tonight I made up my fun excel sheet (who knew I was such a nerd, right?) and emailed my husband showing him how much money I had, what bills I had paid, what bills were left, and what I needed to purchase in the near future. I tried, as best and as nicely as possible, to let him know when he gets home from work – we’re doing the same thing for him! (Okay, okay… cue dun, dun dunnnn.) My hope is that once he sees his monies next to mine – loans, debts, needs, and wishes – he’ll realize that I could contribute to our family by organizing ourselves financially, and I pray he really appreciates it.

I elaborated on my number one resolution here at MML hoping that there are other military wives who have gone through the same thing and have some advice for us newlyweds! Talking about money can be touchy, especially if you’re talking to someone who is used to earning and spending for only themselves (and coming from someone who is used to doing the same!). I also hope you all take a second to truly focus on at least one part of your life this new year and make it better. You deserve it!

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This December has been a bit of a struggle for us, it started out fine but then our heater went out and was out for a week.  If any of you know me, you know that our rental house has a few issues.  It’s an old house, and everything in it is old and temperamental. This wasn’t the first time it went out, but it was the longest time we went with out heat from the furnace.

When we moved in to this house a year and a half ago, I was very adamant about making sure we had wood for our fireplace and wood stove as a back up heat.  One of the reasons was because I wasn’t sure how cold it would be up here (being new to the PacNW) but the other reason was that we had the fireplace and wood stove, so why not be prepared to use it?  Everyone thought we were crazy for wanting to buy 3 cords of wood;  3 cords was the minimum I wanted, but it ended up being all we got because everyone just kept telling us we wouldn’t need it so we figured we should listen to those familiar with the area.

Last winter we used the fireplace and stove off and on and it even came in handy a few times when the furnace was acting up.  This summer we had planned on restocking our wood pile but never did for various reasons (money, time, etc.), and besides we had used only about half of it over the past winter, so we thought we’d be good to go. Then December rolls around and BAM!, no heat for a week…

I wasn’t too stressed because I did have the wood and am pretty good at getting a fire started in the morning and keeping it going all day (even keeping coals going overnight), but by the third or fourth day we started getting worried… we were going through wood way too fast.  By the seventh day, we had our fingers crossed that the heater repairmen would get the furnace running because we were down to 8 pieces of wood.  That’s all we had left, and with the holidays we were very strapped for cash.

Thankfully the heater was repaired and we didn’t need to use those last 8 pieces; but I was still a little bothered.  I no longer had a wood pile, I no longer had a back up; and we aren’t even halfway through winter.

So I got on facebook and asked if anyone had any cheap or free wood sources. I was a little unsure if I would get any response.  After all it is the middle of the winter, the wet season, wood sources become scarce this time of year and those that do have wood, they like to keep a hold of what they have for the same reasons I wanted wood.  However, I did get an offer of free wood.  I would just have to come and cut up the downed trees on the property, some of it has been down for a few months while some of it is just recently down.  This was awesome news, but then I had a new problem.  How would my husband and I get it and bring it home? We have a trailer and a chainsaw, but we really need 2-3 cords worth (a cord of wood is the amount of wood that fits in a 4 foot by 4 foot by 8 foot space)  and there is no way we could get that much wood in a short period of time on our own.

We thought about it a bit and decided to just throw it out there, on facebook, that we were looking for some help.  There is a part of us that really didn’t want to ask for help, we have nothing to offer them other than a ‘Thank you’ and like most people we just didn’t want to admit that we were in need of help.  We really didn’t expect the response, it was simply heart warming!

Four days after Christmas we had 8 people (not including my husband and I) out on the property that belonged to our 2 other friends (who were actually out sick from work, and both came out to talk to us and assist as much as they could) cutting up downed trees and cutting down trees for us; not to mention one very awesome friend who watched the kids for us at her home.  We had 5 chainsaws, 3 trucks and our trailer.  We worked from 10am to 5pm and were able to bring home 2.5 cords of wood!!   It was an amazing show of support, we were blown away by the kindness and support our friends gave us.

The best part is, these friends were all military or retired military.  Some of them we’ve known for years and some of them for only months (or even weeks and only met online, like the property owners!), yet they all stepped up when we asked for help.  I only wish we are able to do the same for each of them when they are in need.

The day after we brought it all home and again today, one of our very good friends and my husband cut to size, split, and stacked ALL of that wood.    Again the time and labor offered warms my heart!

With all that happens these days, sometimes I forget what community support looks like, but this month I witnessed it first hand when our friends stepped up to the plate and all came together to help out my family.  I can’t express enough how it makes me feel!

All together now! The result of community support.

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U.S. Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class Christopher Warren, with Detachment 4, Helicopter Anti-Submarine Squadron Light 37, drops his helmet and runs to greet his wife in Kaneohe, Hawaii, on Dec. 1, 2011.

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Welcome Home!!

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If you don’t speak Italian, you may not know that the title of this blog post is titled, “Merry Christmas!” I learned this phrase yesterday, on December 25th while we were strolling the streets of Venice. We had been to Venice quite a few times before (seeing that it is only an hour away and less than a $10 train ride) but really didn’t know what to do this year for the holidays. We called up a few of our single friends, and single-couple friends (i.e. other young couples with no kids) and headed out for a day of God knew what.

Being such a Catholic-heavy country, I didn’t think much would be open on Christmas day. However, the sun was shining and it was almost 50 degrees in Venice which made our trip that much more enjoyable. Surprisingly, throughout our walk to San Marco Square there were a few restaurants and bars open and thankfully the water taxis were running as well. We met one or two English speaking travelers which made our Christmas in Venice that much more enjoyable. While there was a place or two open, for the most part the usually extremely busy touristy city was a ghost town but that only added to our sight seeing and picture taking. I don’t think I’ve seen the same thing twice while visiting Venice, except for the Rialto Bridge and San Marco Square. Other than that, there are just so many roads that lead you to the square from the bridge that you can’t take the same way twice.

I wrote more about our Christmas in Venice on my personal blog that you can find here, but wanted to share a photo or two with you on My Military Life! I hope wherever you spent your holiday, you were surrounded by those you love and that love you. Merry Everything!

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This week we have been making different treats each day. Monday we made a cookie I like to eat each year, but it’s not so fun for the kids to make. The cookies are just balls and half way through I was left alone balling dough. For yesterday’s cookie I had an idea. Why follow the directions and make all the cookies the same shape? They’re not your normal sugar cookie cause we don’t like frosting and I hate the mess of frosting. They’re a simple almond flavored cookie, that we smooshed out (Why use a rolling pin?), used cookie cutters then decorated all with dough! I colored the dough 4 different colors and let the kids have fun, like it was play doh. The only rule was the things had to be flat, no 3-D snowman that will never cook all the way through. I made a bell to show them what to do and the rest was history. 2 hours later they were still at the table having a blast, and my only job was manning the oven.

The cookies don’t take long in the oven if you want them soft. I think we found one of our new traditions.  I doubled the recipe so we would have enough of each color to actually have fun.  Now I have more cookies than is good for anyone!  We don’t know enough people to get rid of them all, so I’m making plates for some neighbors.  Maybe this new girl in town will make friends over a plate of cookies.  Now that’s one more tradition for our family to do each year.  At least it is a tasty tradition!

Here is the recipe so you can enjoy them as well!

1 Cup Sugar

2/3 cup margarine or butter, softened

2 eggs

2 tsps Vanilla extract

1 tsp almond extract

3 cups flour

1 tsp Baking Powder

Food coloring

1. Beat sugar and butter in large bowl with mixer at medium speed until creamy. Beat in egg, vanilla, and almond extracts. Mix flour and baking powder; stir into butter mixture

2. Divide dough into as many colors you want. Add food coloring and kneed until well mixed. Wrap in plasic wrap and refrigerate at least 2 hours.

3. Have fun! Use cookie cutters, or mold into flatish objects as if it were play doh. Decorate with accent colors, whatever!

4. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 8-10 minutes or just intil set and slightly golden. Remove from sheets and cool on wire racks. Store in airtight container.

Makes 32 cookies

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