We were only a couple of weeks in to our most recent deployment and Murphy had reared his ugly head too many times to even want to remember! The last in our unfortunate incidences, the TV. One of my three wonderful children decided to take it out (with something apparently hard and sharp). This of course was realized once they were all tucked away snugly in bed. So me being the optimist that I strive to be, start looking for the silver lining in this extremely gray cloud! My husband has been wanting a BIG TV. We currently have a 42” and I have stood ground refusing anything bigger! Our TV is fine I have told him on several occasions and our definitions of bigger are totally different. I saw the lust in his eyes for the monstrous 60” TV displayed front and center of the many walking isles at the NEX. So in a moment of pure genius I decided to venture out the next morning in search of a new TV, best thing is it can get bigger without having to watch Dora and Bubble Guppies like we are at the movie theater! I left my house keeping in mind a few rules of TV purchasing for my husband: it must be BIG, it must be LG and it must not be a plasma! I arrive at the NEX around 0930, walk directly to the TV section find pretty much what I am looking for, call the sales associate over to ask a couple of questions. I have two TV’s that I can choose from that fit the requirements; last years model and this years model. I decide that I will fork out the extra cash and get this years model. I purchase the TV, drive over and pick it up. I get home relax for a minute then reluctantly drag the TV from the car to the house (and yes, I literally drug the TV). With a little elbow grease and a few colorful “words” the TV is up and installed; working beautifully. I look at the clock and the time is 1045. Ummmm… yes, you read that right. In 1 hour and 15 minutes I had purchased, picked up, uninstalled the old TV and installed the new TV. This is something that all inclusive would have taken hours or even days if my husband had been present (I know I can’t be alone here!). It would have been all day just choosing the perfect TV and that TV would have been way to big which would have required a new TV stand. You all know how that goes. So the lesson I learned is that TV shopping with out my husband is the only way to go! He got a “bigger” TV, it is an LG and it is not plasma! And I get to keep my entertainment center that I love! Another plus, and this is for him: he never has to listen to me talk bad about the TV, because I bought it all on my own! It is really a win, win for everybody! Except the kids who are currently on cleaning duty as punishment!

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A couple of days ago my husband and I were talking about something that I was planning to do next year.  He made the comment, “I might be deployed then…”  It kinda took me by surprise a little bit.  My husband has been home for 9 months now and we finally get to have more than a year between deployments.  This means that although he has already been home for almost a year, we are not in pre-deployment mode.  That doesn’t mean there isn’t a deployment in our future.  There is and I have a feeling it will be upon us before we know it.

This scares me!  I have been through three deployments but the thought of starting a fourth one scares me.  I worry that I won’t be able to handle it like I have in the past.  Kids are older and I have more of them.  My tiny baby won’t be a baby anymore.  He will be in the middle of his toddler years, about the time you really need two parents around.  I have two older chidren with special needs.  One we didn’t know about last deployment.  I worry about that.  That it will be too much for me to handle all by myself.  But really, what choice do I have?  Having a husband in the Military means you single parent sometimes.  You don’t have a choice.

I am hoping that when the time comes I will be ready to do it alone again.  That I will have the patience and the strength to get-through the time apart.  And while I know that deployment is going to happen eventually I am going to try not to dwell on it and try to fully enjoy having my husband home with us.  I am going to fully enjoy the weekends together, the date nights, the trips out with the boys.  I am going to appreciate all of it because sometime in the future we will be saying goodbye again, the countdown will begin and we will have yet another deployment to get though.

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This following is the first blog post in our Homecoming series. Contact us if you would like to be a guest blogger and submit your Homecoming story.

My first…
By Despina

I’m a 43 year old Submariner’s wife writing my first blog post and yesterday I experienced my first homecoming.  Although my Sailor and I have been together for 5 years and he had been out to sea plenty of times, I had never experienced a submarine homecoming.  I have to thank the CO, had he not appointed me as Ombudsman I would probably still be ignorant of this incredible experience!

Yesterday I was blessed to witness a magnificent sight; the homecoming of the USS Missouri (SSN 780).  I stood in awe at the shore line and watched her sail break the water as she rose majestically to continue her journey to the sub base on the surface of the Thames.  Her topside lined with Sailors, standing with their hands behind their backs.  Her sail filled to capacity with Officers and pilots as they made their way home.  The formality and quiet dignity of their postures impressed and moved me beyond words.

As we raced to the next viewing point, Paul’s Pasta, I could barely contain my excitement, awe and anger; directed firmly at my Sailor for letting me think this was no big deal for so many years!

The Mighty Mo passed so close to us that I could make out faces of the Sailors that lined her sleek wet body.  She was escorted, like a debutante, preceded by a Coast Guard gunnery boat and flanked by an imposing tug that would gently assist her in her final maneuvers to the pier awaiting her.

Our next stop was the overlook near the Nautilus and I thought how appropriate that the newest ship would pass the oldest on her way home.  Racing down to the pier, I could barely contain myself.  We made it just before the Mighty Mo and got to watch the tug and crew working together to secure her to the pier.  I was watching a well-rehearsed ballet in awe.

I saw my mustached Sailor scramble up the hatch onto her back, first turning to find me in the crowd and wave at me.  Those were the first tears I shed yesterday.  My Sailor was home safe and sound.  I proudly watched as he strode to the back of the ship, with purpose, as a large cantilevered arm reached out to hand thousands of pounds of cables to him and his division so they could connect shore power to the ship.

I gathered all the ladies of the Mighty Mo together and asked that they yell “Hey Shipmate!” just so I could watch my Sailor turn around one more time, this time with a chagrined look on his face as he gave me a short wave.  He was the only one that turned around.  He is “THE” Shipmate on the boat.

I watched a massive crane slowly amble onto the pier to place a steel girdle around the nose and sail of the ship, ignorant of its purpose.

For the first time, I watched wives eyes gleam with tears and tenderness as they caught glimpses of their Sailors walking down the pier to say hello for a minute before they went back to work.  They had a long way to go before their work day ended.

You may be thinking “Why haven’t you ever seen this?” Funny thing…. HE NEVER TOLD ME such a thing existed and worse than that, I NEVER THOUGHT TO ASK!  I always waited for his call telling me he was home and thought that was the “thing” that Navy wives did.

I know better now and will never miss another opportunity like this again.  If you’ve never seen this, you should.  I haven’t done the majesty of it justice.

For the first time I didn’t see Submarines at their berths at the sub base.

I saw love lining the Pier in New London and it took my breath away.

This was my first homecoming but you can bet; it will not be my last.

Related story:

USS Missouri returns to sub base after shakedown cruise

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I have been so overdue with this post, but lots of terrific things have been happening. My amazing husband came home for Christmas and, that, as you know is always magical. The kids too were so thrilled to have daddy home to celebrate with us. We felt very blessed!  Even though Christmas was spent away from our loved ones and dear friends back East, we celebrated this season with many of our Coast Guard family members who filled our home with love and warmth.

Through early December I had been so extremely busy, and my husband consequently was once he came home. He had just returned home from deployment and still gave 110% to help me make these deliveries happen.

Happily, my husband and I both became Operation Homefront volunteers last year. As a result of that, I also got my nonprofit organization involved in helping them with the Toy Platoon Campaign and that kept us both really busy. My house and home office practically turned into the North Pole!

For the past three years, Operation Homefront has joined forces with Dollar Tree stores around the country to accept donations from local communities for holiday toys for military kids. I jumped right on board once I found out about it and involved my organization, Coast Guard Family Organization, Inc., in the mix collecting stockings and connecting with our area’s units to distribute the stockings. Because of this, I signed up to be the regional toy distributor with Operation Homefront and my darling husband tagged right along with me.

I was blown away by the amount of toys collected. At one point, I was counting each individual toy, but that just became insane as there were thousands. Sure, some might think that donating a dollar toy is not much, but it really says a lot. In this economy, when folks are hanging on to each and every dollar, it is inspiring when they opt to give it away for the sake of a military child. Toy donations were distributed to mostly children coming from junior military families. Because of that, I was in awe when many of the folks reaching out to me and my organization to support the effort where junior military families themselves. They just thought it was right to give back. That is the incredible thing about our Nation’s military families. As many of you know, so often they/we are the ones giving so much of our time, talents and donations because it is natural to us.

U.S. Coast Guard photo by Petty Officer Shawn Eggert

The Coast Guard did a PR write up on the effort and the local newspaper also published it. All of a sudden, people started calling me and coming out of the woodwork to help. The Coast Guard Exchange donated helicopter toys, and I even had one remarkably generous lady call me up to donate cash, clothing and toys for a military family. She thought I would know best where to share her donations. I can tell you the family that did receive her donations were over the moon and so moved by her generosity. Likewise, each and every military unit my husband and I delivered toys to was more than appreciative. The Coast Guard is often left out of things and it was nice to let them know that they too are not forgotten. Can you believe, we delivered enough toys for at least 400 military families?

I will say though, that one delivery in particular more than warmed heart, and I will never forget it.

It was a Friday afternoon and I connected with a Captain at the local National Guard base. We made arrangements for the delivery of toys and my three cute little elves and I loaded ourselves up in the van amidst seven large boxes filled to the brim with stocking stuffers. We were a wee bit crowded, but managed to drive safely to the base feeling much like Santa’s sleigh.

Upon our arrival, we were greeted by about six camo-clad soldiers. They were super sweet to my kids, and they amazed us all with their swift work. It never ceases to astound me how our military super heroes get the job done in a split second with efficient expedience. Before I knew it all of the boxes, carrying over 1,000 toys, were in the auditorium. The Captain thanked me for the donations and to express appreciation to all those involved. The Captain asked a bit about my organization and took my business card. All the soldiers nodded in appreciation and said thanks in unison. It was a great feeling. They sacrifice so much and they deserved these gifts for their children and so much more.

Then, one soldier leaned forwarded with his hand extended. I reached out and he held my hand tightly for quite a spell. He had a glimmer of a tear in his eye and said to me, “Thank you. This means so much.” I almost lost it right there in the auditorium. I mustered something that I still cannot even remember. I managed to maintain my composure and bid them all a Merry Christmas before I left the building.

I scrambled into my van and the tears started flowing.

At that moment, I felt like I was I in a Lifetime movie.

My oldest daughter asked me, “Mommy, what’s wrong.” I smiled and explained that I was happy and that we just did an amazing thing. I glowed the whole way back home and knew that each effort to support our military, no matter how big or small it might be, is appreciated. I had already known that; but that day, my commitment to helping military members, spouses and families was reaffirmed in a big way.

This past Christmas was the most joyous season yet for me. It was filled with moments of true happiness because it truly is better to give than receive.

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My husband has been home from his third deployment for six months now. In the past this usually would mean that we were getting ready for our next deployment. He was home for 365 days between deployment one and two. And was home for 15 months between deployment two and three. However, his unit deployed earlier than that so I felt like we were already in the “getting ready for deployment mode” by this point as well. This time, the next deployment seems pretty far away. At least from my point of view. The unit is not in serious training mode, we aren’t having FRG meetings about what to expect, we aren’t being asked to work out the details that you need to work out before someone deploys. He has been home for six whole months and we are not in “pre-deployment” mode. And that is amazing to me.

It is a weird feeling, but I like it. I like that the next deployment is far enough away that we can enjoy this time together. I like that I am not forced to think about the next deployment so soon. I am glad that when I look at my little boys I don’t think that they will be having to say goodbye to Daddy so soon.

I also catch myself. It is different when they are home and you aren’t planning for a deployment. They go to work, they come home and for a short period of time life is almost like it was before he joined. There will be schools and trainings ahead. There will be nights apart. But in the near future I do not have to ready myself for a long deployment. I do worry that this time together will go by very quickly. That before we know it I will be going to FRG meetings about how to prepare for a deployment, that he will be packing his deployment bags again and that we will all have to get ready to say goodbye. For now I am going to enjoy this time together. I am going to cherish it because it feels amazing that we get to feel more like a normal family for a little bit longer than we have in the past.

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U.S. Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class Christopher Warren, with Detachment 4, Helicopter Anti-Submarine Squadron Light 37, drops his helmet and runs to greet his wife in Kaneohe, Hawaii, on Dec. 1, 2011.

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Welcome Home!!

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Thanksgiving was very bittersweet this year. The man in blue’s schedule has been erratic as of late.  He We, however, were very fortunate that he was able to be home for the holiday, but for a few days only. Sadly, he left again all too soon. Here I type wishing he were still here by me.  Still, I am appreciative because he was not due to be here at all, not even for a split second.

I should mention that today is also bittersweet in and of itself for me. Yes, he left, and that saddens me. However, *sigh* today marks the 12th anniversary of our first time meeting, but I digress. (Don’t worry I’ll bore excite you in December with our first date details).

Anyway…I am so grateful that we were able to cook together, play games together and tuck our children in at night together, for a few days. It is such a rare thing, and we will take what we can get. I am thankful for his diligence in picking out a Christmas tree very early for us so we could decorate it together as a family before he left. I am even thankful for his helping out with a huge project I have going on for a military support organization – he still gave his time even though he was home for a short spell. On top of it all, I am also grateful for the job that takes him away from us all too often. Silly though that may sound, it’s true. Most of you can relate, I’m sure.

We appreciate the sense of a secure job that puts food on our tables and pays the bills. Sure, there are times we dislike things about the military, probably a lot of times, but it’s really all about perspective. When I look at the grand picture before me, including the uncertainties facing my civilian counterparts in my family and friend circles, I realize how truly blessed we are. At least for now anyway. Yes, there are many scary topics looming on the horizon that have me nervous and anxious about what if’s and what-may-comes, but for now I will remain grateful.

In my all-time favorite Christmas movie, General Waverly states, “”If there’s one thing I learned in the Army, it’s to always be positive… especially when you have no idea what you are talking about.” So, since life is full of unknowns,  especially the military side of life, I will do my best to remain positive and try and focus on the little happy moments and be grateful for what I can.

I hope you all too enjoyed many moments of happiness, grace, and thankfulness this week. Oh, and one last thing, I am thankful to be here as a part of the MyMilitaryLife family – thank you Wendy and all the bloggers for having me.

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GROTON, Conn. (Nov. 11, 2011) The Los Angeles attack submarine USS Springfield (SSN 761) makes her way through the fog to return to homeport at Submarine Base New London. Springfield returned from a scheduled six-month deployment. (U.S. Navy photo by John Narewski/Released)

Welcome Home to the Sailors of the USS Springfield (SSN 761)!

You can find more photos here and here.

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1001 Things to Love About Military Life

It’s not often a book is written by a group of military spouses, much less a group I call friends.

Today, November 2nd, is the official launch of 1001 Things to Love about Military Life.

Through my military life walk I’ve gotten to know each of the authors personally starting with “meeting online” to in person. They are each remarkable women. Holly and Kathy are the trailblazers and have brought their workshop, “Follow Your Dreams While You Follow the Military” to military installations around the globe, training thousands of spouses and their signature book, “Help, I’m a Military Spouse! I Get a Life Too!” has inspired thousands more. Tara and Star and have changed the face of how us military spouses connect, first with Army Wife Talk Radio, their Field Exercise events and now with Army Wife Network. They have each left a lasting legacy on the military spouse world and frankly, they’ve only just begun. I am proud and honored to call them each a friend.

1001 Things to Love About Military Life tells the military life story from many angles, the personal accounts and resources are rich. The book is layed out in such a way you will find yourself smiling and remembering what you love about military life, especially on days when living that life might feel like you cannot take another step. For the new spouse it will be a valuable guide behind the curtain of military life and service. You can flip to any page and learn something new or have a chuckle. You’ll stand a little taller and have new insights into the importance of your role of supporting your service member.

I’m honored to have our site, MyMilitaryLife.com and Navy Wife Radio | Military Life Radio listed in the book as #501. What a treat!!

This book should be on every coffee table and certainly in every Kindle!

Here’s how to get your copy and while you’re at, pick up a copy to give!

I’m happy to report you can order via Amazon.com - http://www.amazon.com/1001-Things-Love-About-Military/dp/1455502839

Thank you Amazon.com for carrying this book. It’s available via Hardcover (whoo-hoo) and Kindle.

For more information on the book and each of the authors visit:  www.lovemilitarylife.com

Introduction to 1001 Things to Love About Military Life

When we first told people we were writing this book, responses ranged from “How can you talk about things to love with a war going on and military members being horribly wounded or killed?” to “Thank you for reminding us of all the good in the military and military life.”

There are certainly a lot of things to not love right now about our military reality, as we continue into our 10th year at war. Military members and their families only make up 1% of the population but they are bearing 100% of the sacrifice of war. The horrors of war, death, physical wounding, stress disorders and emotional suffering, and repeated separations, will impact our military families and society for a long time to come. War is hell. Even in peacetime, military life is constantly challenging.

However, research continues to show focusing only on the negatives can pull you into a downward spiral of despair and loss of hope. So, we decided to count the positives. The fact is, there are many things to love about military life. We really did not have trouble getting to 1001.

Our desire is that those of you who are or were in the military will read this—keeping in mind families and children serve too—and find yourself nodding in agreement at many of the items. Of course we know every example won’t apply to every military member. Our military experiences differ as much as we do as individuals. We trust the examples we include will trigger your own memories and encourage you to share your favorites with your family and friends.

For those of you who are not in the military, we are confident this book will give you some insight into this military life and help you see why we have such pride in our military and lifestyle. Why we have not lost hope.

There is no greater love than a love that is willing to sacrifice or die, paying the ultimate sacrifice, for another. Our service members love their brothers-at-arms and at-large, their country. Freely and selflessly, wanting very little in return. In a perfect world, that love is returned. Our aim is to help the country love back, without holding back for lack of introduction to, knowledge of, and insight into our military way of life.
Ask any of us, “Knowing what we know now, would we choose this lifestyle again?’”

“ABSOLUTELY!”

Mostly because of the other amazing people we’ve come to know in our Military Family and because of whom we’ve become as a result of this lifestyle.

There are indeed 1001 things to love about military life or more.

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Last night while preparing to greet trick-or-treaters at a friends’ house in a military housing area, my children looked down the street and shouted “DADDY!” I realized they were looking towards a housing office so I assumed they saw another man in blue and became confused, as often kids do when seeing another man in uniform.

Low and behold, it was their daddy! I ran to him like a wildly in love teenager who hadn’t seen her boyfriend in months. I only squealed in my head, thankfully. I was blown away by the unexpectedness of it all – it was sweetly romantic and so not like the man who gives away every surprise including what he is giving you for Christmas months beforehand.

I kissed that gorgeous man on the lips as though we had not seen each other in forever. I must be honest though, it had been two days. Still, I was not expecting him. I was so blown away by the mini-surprise of a quick trip home that I literally weakened in the knees and became flustered when he smiled at me. He was only home for less than 12 hours, but it was perfect. He hasn’t surprised me like that since we were newlyweds, almost 10 years ago.

This wonderful surprise came only a day after another surprise that made me weak….weak in the stomach that is. While cleaning the kitchen the morning after my husband left, I found leftover coffee grounds growing a gross white substance in the filter. Mmmm, gross. I don’t drink coffee so who knows how many days it was there for and it could have been longer before I found it. So, honey, if you are reading this I prefer the homecoming surprise, but I could do without the uncleaned filter before you deploy.

What surprise has your loved one left for you or what made you weak in the knees recently?

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