Hello, everyone! As you may have read there is a new blogger in town and that would be me – Tessa. Nice to meet you!
In joining this awesome group of bloggers, I hope to bring a different perspective to the team just like all of the other spouses do. My Air Force husband and I are stationed in Aviano, Italy and are just a month short of our 1 year wedding anniversary. I’m not sure when we’re technically no longer considered “newlyweds,” but I assure you I still feel very new to the military and married life as a whole. I hope you’ll forgive me for not having anywhere near the amount of advice like most of the seasoned spouses do, but hopefully what I can provide is a voice for you other newlyweds out there who are learning, enjoying, and possibly struggling through some of the same aspects to our new lives like I am.
By far, the first 6 months of marriage was the hardest for me. What do you mean you don’t like how I rearranged the living room? You’re serious – you don’t like mushrooms? I need to fill out how many papers for the military? Not only had I entered this new world with my husband who sometimes felt like a complete stranger (Seriously, who doesn’t like mushrooms?), but I had left my family, friends, and career all behind on the East Coast within the blink of an eye. While I was loving my new life with my husband in Italy and would blog about it all the time, I could feel the ‘old’ me start to slip away one glass of Italian vino at a time.
It wasn’t until a week or so ago that I finally admitted this to my blog readers (mostly family and friends with a few military spouses who found me on Twitter) in hopes that someone, somewhere was feeling the same way. I had reached out to multiple departments and offices on base to see if they needed a volunteer or even (gasp) an employee. No such luck. As they said: Maybe I’d have better luck in the states but “there’s no place for a spouse here.” If that wasn’t depressing enough, I’m so used to having a big group of friends with limitless conversation and being surrounded by people who are constantly educating me and stimulating my brain. But in entering the military spouse community I felt like a fish out of water with no children and having left a career behind. Thank God I found the courage to write the blog post that I did because within moments I had random spouses from all around the world tweeting me saying they had gone through the same thing and assuring me that it does in fact get better.
The best piece of advice came from my girlfriend from college who gave it to me straight up: You’re depressed. Get out of the house. Do something new once a week. Well, that was easy enough. Within that very short message I felt revived. It may not have given me the purpose that my students used to, but for whatever reason, I must have a new purpose now. I’d like to believe that purpose is to eat as much caprese salad as possible and go to the market every single morning. Maybe, for right now, all I need to do is enjoy the air around me and this quality time with just my husband. It sounds simple enough, and maybe not as ambitious as my previous life, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I can still be the liberal, educated, career woman Tessa I’ve come to know and love over the years and be a military wife. The transition is nowhere complete, but I assure you, within in time – it will be.
Until next time – Ciao!
For more on my life as a military wife, check out my personal blog: www.tessatauschek.blogspot.com